Why women cheat on their husbands: Personal experience and advice on how to stop infidelity in marriage
People cheat on their partner for different reasons. When you hear the word cheating in relationship lots of things cross your mind. In other words infidelity, it could be sexual addiction, boredom, revenge or feeling an emotional void.
For some, it’s an adventure. About 25% of men have cheated while in relationships and 13% of women have done same. People are looking for something different. In this blog Fatherly talked to five women who expressed their different opinions.
But first let me share a personal experience with you…
Why women cheat on their husbands
- Catching In On Lost Opportunities
- Lack Of Sexual Satisfaction
- When Husband Is Like a Roommate
- When a Relationship Isn’t Intimate Again
- When Husband Becomes Emotionally Abusive
- When a Husband Push Their Problems On His Wife
- Too Authoritarian
- Inability To Meet My Needs
- Became Suddenly Changed Man
Catching in on lost opportunities
Most times people cheat because at a younger age they were unable to expressed themselves sexually with different people.
Few years ago, I got connected to a former course mate back in school on social media. He told me we should get together for a relationship.
I was silent on the other side, it was unexpected. I had to pretend I wasn’t embarrassed to find out more. I asked him: “We were in school for three years, studied together you never said anything about having a relationship with me. Why now ?
And we are both married. He answered, “I had no money then, now I can afford to take care of you…….that solves it”.
Catching in on lost opportunities from the past make some people cheat on their spouses. Not justifiable at all, the hands of time cannot be turned, as such accept who you are and who you have as your spouse and create heaven on earth for yourselves through the journey of love and life……
Lack Of Sexual Satisfaction
Another reason why women cheat on their husbands is lack of sexual satisfaction, it is common to hear most women never experienced orgasm during sexual intercourse with their partner, once they discover it, it is difficult to keep such a woman under control.
Solution: It is important to discuss the duration of sex with a partner before marriage, don’t get married to one minute man if you are a five minute woman and vice versa.
Failure in any way could lead to infidelity. The real names of the contributors to this blog are fictitious.
Now let’s dive into some of the why women cheated on their husbands as exemplified by olleen Oakley in one of his articles on Yahoo, where he some women give uncensored reasons why they cheat on their husbands.
When Husband Is Like a Roommate
|“My Husband Was Like A Roommate”
The first time I had a relationship with another man, I never planned it, it just happened unprompted. I got a partner in another country, we communicate online.
We have never seen each other before the relationship, after eight months of cyber dating we finally met.
My husband remains a good friend, but in essence like a roommate. It is not really a marriage anymore. So that’s really what I’m seeking with other affair partner.
Just a physical relationship, I’ve considered getting a divorce. It’s just a long process. My home life isn’t bad. It’s not like a combative or argumentative relationship with my husband. It’s just not intimate anymore.
Anna who shares this is a 36-year old living in Illinois, United States.
Solution: This is a case of not communicating with a partner. Living in a house with the opposite sex and feeling like a roommate has to do with verbal communication.
Not being romantic as well. In this case she complained of the distance between them. Talking to each other in relationship is very important, it helps to ease tension from work, the children and other activities that weighs our hearts.
Communicate with your spouse always to know when you can help each other. You talk about life, people, environment, politics to keep in touch naturally.
Even roommates communicate with each other. After the days activities, you could hold each other and talk till you drift into sleep.
My spouse and I talk a lot when we are alone, just about anything. It has helped us to settle our grievances during the day. While talking we just let it out suddenly. That’s cool in a way.
When husband becomes emotionally abusive
|“ My Husband Was In Deep Denial For Years”
I never intended to cheat on my husband. But things happen. We are parents of three, one who has autism and ADHD. My husband was in deep denial for two years and became emotionally abusive.
I didn’t feel guilty at all about having an affair because it saved me. It ended when my affair partner committed suicide. I was completely shattered. My husband found out by going through my phone not long after things began in 2013.
He didn’t know everything until after Jacob’s death and I was in therapy. My therapist recommended that I tell him everything to help both of us move on. It was a hard decision. I was a week from filling for a divorce when Jacob died.
He wasn’t a reason for the divorce. I had plenty of other reasons. But I stopped the proceedings, went into therapy and decided to stay in the marriage and give it a chance.
Three years later, things are okay. My husband trust me again. We worked through a lot.
A 50-year old Wanda living in Nevada says why she cheated on her husband.
Solution: In this case, confession, repentance, forgiveness and commitment helped the couple to bring back their marriage. Therapy works wonders than you can imagine.
When you have problems in your marriage, talking to professionals who are not related to you in anyway is better. When you relate your marital problems to people you know as family or friends, they can’t help much. Because you will only hear what you want, they wouldn’t want to be the one to end your relationship.
When a husband push their problems on his wife
|“My Husband Was Pulling Away Dumping All Of His Problems On Me”.
I was just looking in the mirror and realized I was getting older and every day. I had settled into a routine. My husband at the time was having some difficulties with work, and mental illness. He was pulling away and dumping all the problems on me.
It got to a point where I felt I could handle everything, the bills, the investment accounts. I could handle all that. I ‘ m well educated and I have a college degree.
He didn’t want to get help. I just looked at him one day and thought, He doesn’t get to have my entire life.
I thought there had to be someone out there who could have a conversation with me, who found me attractive, who was missing what I was. I started going on dates.
My husband and I got divorce. We could not solve our problems. I talked to him, before, about an open marriage.
But he wasn’t okay with that so we got a divorce. I’m fine with what happened. I don’t have any regrets –– at least not about that part.
Tami, 61, California.
Let me take a deep breath…..
When you become authoritarian, your wife is likely to cheat on you. And the worst is she will be happy to justify her action.
|“He Became Controlling”.
When we got married, he became very controlling and jealous. I put up with it . I wasn’t fooling around – he just didn’t want me to talk to any men or even go out to lunch with girlfriends. And then I fell in love with a guy I was working with, about eight years into the marriage.
Our marriage was really falling apart. The affair made me feel more loved and more confident. I didn’t feel good about it at the time, but in retrospect, I don’t have any regrets. I never dated the man I had the affair, but I didn’t tell him who with.
I’m single now and I’m fine with that. I’m happy to be out of marriage. I don’t think I would have done anything differently. Maybe I would have ended my marriage sooner. But I was concerned about my children.
Tegan is 48 from Nevada
Inability to meet my needs
|He can’t meet my needs
“I found myself in the hands of a man who couldn’t meet my needs any longer, though it wasn’t like that in the past, things changed suddenly.
Things changed when we started raising kids. Three kids. I felt it’s okay to assist my husband by finding support for him.
I don’t feel guilty when I do this, it’s just a way of boosting my husband’s financial backbone. So cheating is normal for me.”
Sade, North Central.
Another reason why women cheat on their husbands is:
Became suddenly changed man
|“My Husband Got Sick And Became A Different Person”.
My husband has Alzheimer’s. He became a totally different person. The person I lived with was not the person I got married to.
I became severely depressed. There was no one but me to do anything and everything. I decided there had to be some outlet for me. I don’t really even know why or when I decided, but I did at some point. I went online. I started just going on simple dates, it was fun. But then I met someone.
We’ve been in relationship for over a year now. I’m not dating anyone else but him now. It’s helped me a lot. Now, I’ m able to take care of my husband in a much better frame of mind.
He’s no longer living with me, because it came to a point where I couldn’t do that, but he’s in town and I visit him all the time, check in on him.
He has no memory at all. I tell him something and five minutes later he’s not going to remember it. So I’m happier now.
I grieved the loss of my marriage. The loss of my husband. The loss of the life I had. The life that I thought I was going to have as I got older.
I just got to the point where I knew it was gone, it wasn’t coming back, and he wasn’t going to get better. It took me quite a while to accept that.
Infidelity in marriage has no justification in anyway. Marriage is the highest place of sanctity. It is important to help couples strengthen and preserve their marriage.
Our attitude towards marriage should be that of reconciliation, forgiveness and growing together. Define the motives of this behavior and check yourself if you lead your partner to be that way.
When you marry a person, you are sharing in their lives, not owing their lives. You don’t own their lives. They only decided to let you have part of their lives.
Allow them space to socialize with friends and families. You got your own space too, make use of it.
When your spouse falls sick suddenly, don’t use that as a yardstick to cheat on them. Have you asked yourself, if I were the one?
Would they go running around with other person? That should be the time to express more love and care to them. Love heals everything. There is strength in loving others, it fills you with the precious gift money can’t buy.
If you ask me personally, would you cheat on your spouse? My honest answer is NO.
It is dignified to allow space for healing in a challenging relationship, when it’s not working out, or there’s no hope of reconciliation. Then divorce sets in.
Better wait in that process than cheating. When you cheat your spouse, leading to divorce I would say it’s infidelity.